The Glass Ceiling I Cracked

Everyone talks about shattering the glass ceiling.

The image is satisfying — one decisive blow, the whole thing comes down, and suddenly the sky is open. Progress, clean and complete.

That's not how it happened for me. And I suspect it's not how it happens for most women.

What I did was crack it. Quietly, incrementally, at significant personal cost. And then I watched the women who came after me press their hands against those cracks and push a little further.

That's how it actually works. And it's worth talking about.

What the Glass Ceiling Actually Feels Like

Before I cracked anything, I spent years not entirely sure the ceiling was there.

I could see the evidence — the statistics, the org charts, the pattern of who got promoted and who got passed over. But when you're in it, there's always an explanation. He had more experience. She was a better cultural fit. The timing wasn't right.

The ceiling is most effective when you can't quite see it. When you keep bumping your head and wondering if the problem is you.

The moment I knew for certain it was there was the moment I was passed over for a role I was objectively the most qualified candidate for. The person who got it had fewer years of experience, a shorter track record, and — I say this not with bitterness but with clarity — a different set of chromosomes.

I stopped wondering if the ceiling existed. I started thinking about how to get through it.

The Cost of Cracking It

I want to be honest about this, because the stories we tell about breaking barriers tend to skip the part where it costs you something.

It cost me relationships. When you push against a system, the people who benefit from that system don't always take it well. I lost allies. I was labelled difficult. There were years where my career moved sideways when it should have been moving up.

It cost me energy. The constant vigilance of navigating a system that wasn't built for you is exhausting in a way that's hard to explain to people who haven't experienced it. You're doing your job and you're also doing the invisible work of managing perceptions, countering biases, and advocating for yourself in ways your male colleagues never have to think about.

It cost me certainty. Every time I pushed, the imposter voice got louder. Who do you think you are? What if you're wrong? What if you're making it worse?

What Made It Worth It

The first time a younger woman came to me and said, "I got the role — and I think it's because of what you did," I understood.

I hadn't shattered anything. But I'd made a crack. And she'd found it, and pushed, and gotten through.

That's the thing about incremental progress: it doesn't look like much from the inside. It looks like one person, fighting one battle, at significant personal cost, for a result that seems small.

But those cracks accumulate. Each one makes the next one easier. Each woman who gets through holds the crack open a little wider for the one behind her.

What I Wish I'd Known

I wish I'd known earlier that the goal wasn't to be exceptional enough to be the exception. The goal was to change the conditions so that exceptional women weren't exceptions anymore.

I wish I'd spent less energy trying to prove I deserved to be there and more energy changing what "deserving" meant in that context.

I wish I'd found my people sooner — the other women who were also pressing against the ceiling, who could have told me I wasn't imagining it, who could have helped me push.

The Cracks You're Making Right Now

If you're in a system that wasn't built for you, and you're pushing against it, and it feels like nothing is changing — I want you to know that the cracks are there.

You might not see them. You might not be the one who gets through. But the woman who comes after you will find them. She'll press her hands against the place where you pushed, and she'll push a little further.

That's not a consolation prize. That's how change actually happens.

Keep pushing.

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The full story of my career — the ceilings, the cracks, and what came after — is in Confessions of an Imposter. Available now on Amazon — and the audiobook is live this week too. Listen to the audiobook on Audible — narrated by the brilliant Sarah Kowalchuck.